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Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. - Anonymous

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

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Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!' Henny Youngman
Moments
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Jack Handey

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I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

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I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. - Anonymous
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them. Anonymous
Sayings
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions
Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. Anonymous
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If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
When there's a will, I want to be in it. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

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I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous
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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy. Groucho Marx
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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? Anonymous
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There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Jim Carey

Famous Quotes Money Quotes People Quotes
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Albert Einstein
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. Albert Einstein
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The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. Benjamin Franklin
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I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
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I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Think Quotes
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
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