Funny Moments

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

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I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

Anonymous

Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.

Anonymous

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Anonymous

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

Henny Youngman

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

Anonymous

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

Anonymous

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

Anonymous

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.

Anonymous

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Anonymous

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

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Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?

Anonymous

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Anonymous

Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments.

Anonymous

A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!

Anonymous

When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.

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A UFO!? Quick, grab the worst camera we own.

Anonymous

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck