Funny Moments
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
Anonymous
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.
Anonymous
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to!
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Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
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For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.
Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.
Anonymous
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.
Anonymous
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.
Anonymous
When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV.
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Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
Henny Youngman
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
Anonymous
A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
Anonymous
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
Anonymous
Displayed 25-48 of 50 quotes.