Funny Moments

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Henny Youngman

Drinking Short Quotes

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Top 100

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Anonymous

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

People Quotes World Quotes

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Lazy Quotes TV Quotes

Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Short Quotes

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. Anonymous

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous

For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart. Anonymous

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. - Anonymous

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Short Quotes

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. - Anonymous

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous

Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance. Anonymous

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. - Anonymous

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. Anonymous

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. - Anonymous

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous

When I saw the monkeys at the zoo it reminded me of watching political debates on TV. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!' Henny Youngman

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous

Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous

A girl called me once and said 'come over, nobody is home!' I went there and she was right, nobody was home!

A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home! Anonymous

Better moment

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Displayed 25-48 of 50 quotes.