Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
You can talk to yourself and you can answer yourself, but if feel the need to pardon yourself, that's when you know something's wrong. Anonymous
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous
Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap. Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master. Anonymous
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man." Anonymous
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. Anonymous