Funny Moments

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.

Anonymous

Studying top moment: to exercise your memory and start sweating.

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Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance.

Anonymous

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Anonymous

Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.

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I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.

Anonymous

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Woody Allen

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

Anonymous

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

Anonymous

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home.

Anonymous

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

Anonymous

I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.

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For this New Year's day, weather forecasters are warning of an incoming storm of hugs and kisses all over the planet... we advise closing your umbrella and opening your heart.

Anonymous