Funny Moments

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'

There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.

Don't make me laugh, I'm trying to be mad at you.

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.

Today I will live in the moment... unless that moment becomes unpleasant, in which case I'll take a nap.

Some people have "aha" moments, I just have "Oh Seriously?" moments.