A girl called me once and said "come over, nobody is home!" I went there and she was right, nobody was home!
More Quotes by Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted to get it for you, but then I realized it's my own reflection!
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.
Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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