Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones... that's why it's called a "cell" phone.
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
A joke is a very serious thing.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Edward A. Murphy (Murphy's Law)
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
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