Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
I'm having people over to stare at their phones later, if you want to come by...
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
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