Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. - Anonymous
I don't need a fancy watch to tell me I'm not fit one bit. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." - Anonymous
Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you. "Yeah. So is a grenade." Anonymous
Animals Short Quotes
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. - Anonymous
I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Time Quotes
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. - Anonymous
Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, they'll start using it. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Statements
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Facebook Man Quotes Marriage Quotes
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. - Anonymous
Me: What a terrible day. Mom: Be more positive! Me: What a beautiful terrible day. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. - Anonymous
Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. Anonymous
Life Quotes
There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. - Anonymous
There's a fine line between saying too much and saying too little. I walk that line like a drunk down at the circus. Anonymous
The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous
Good Quotes Work Quotes
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? - Anonymous
A text message can lead to a date, which can lead to a kiss, and a wonderful night together. Will you text me? Anonymous
Love Quotes
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
What if one day Google stopped working and we couldn't Google what happened to Google? Anonymous
Internet

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