Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. - Anonymous

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I'm like... I went to the grocery store. Anonymous

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.

After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous

Life Quotes Math Quotes

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. - Anonymous

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Know Quotes

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Anonymous

Money Quotes Stupid Quotes

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night. Anonymous

Target cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for? Me: First of all, I wasn't looking for ANY of this. Anonymous

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous

Moments Work Quotes

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Stupid Quotes

In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you. - Anonymous

In a room full of art, I'd still stare at you. Anonymous

Life Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. - Anonymous

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee. Anonymous

Facebook People Quotes Top 100

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous

Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target.

How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Top 100

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I can't finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find. Anonymous

You're born free, then you're taxed to death.

You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous

Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. - Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link. Anonymous

Facebook Internet Life Quotes

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous

When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. - Anonymous

Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Know Quotes

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous

I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous

Statements Top 100