Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free. - Anonymous

I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Short Quotes Questions Lazy Quotes

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

The secret to happiness is not to do what makes you happy, it's to be happy doing what you're already doing.

Top 100 Sayings Happy Quotes

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

Life Quotes People Quotes Witty Quotes

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Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.

Drinking Beer Quotes Eat Quotes

When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! - Anonymous

When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way!

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Short Quotes Questions Eat Quotes

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? - Anonymous

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

Short Quotes Questions Sayings

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart. - Anonymous

Side by side or miles apart real friends are always close to the heart.

Short Quotes Top 100 Love Quotes

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.

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You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!

Work Quotes Moments Know Quotes

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Sayings People Quotes

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave. - Anonymous

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost.

Marriage Quotes Love Quotes

Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous

Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. - Anonymous

Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes People Quotes

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver. - Anonymous

When people tell me "You're going to regret that in the morning," I sleep in until noon because I'm a problem solver.

Wise Quotes Sayings Sleep Quotes