Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous