Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything.
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
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