If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. Dave Barry
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree. Steven Alexander Wright
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around. Anonymous
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous