Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I burned my Hawaiian pizza today. Should've cooked it on aloha temperature. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I want to sleep but my brain won't stop talking to itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
I couldn't work today because I had an eye problem.. I simply couldn't see myself working today. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It's like the other vegetables aren't even trying. Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. - Anonymous
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous
Short Quotes
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with. Anonymous
Sayings
If zombies ever attack, just go to Costco. They have strong walls, years of food supplies, and Zombies can't get in because they don't have a membership card. Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. - Anonymous
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
How to do sit-ups: Lay down, hands behind your head. Wow, this is a good position for a nap. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sleep Quotes
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

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