Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. - Anonymous
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too. Anonymous
People Quotes
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! - Anonymous
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. - Anonymous
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Know Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Friend Quotes Sayings
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Never Quotes Short Quotes
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
Out of my mind! Back in five minutes.
Out of my mind! Back in five minutes. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. - Anonymous
I only check my voice mail to get rid of the annoying little icon. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous
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