Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. - Anonymous
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill. Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes Top 100
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. - Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
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With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? - Anonymous
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
Questions Time Quotes
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you.
If you're hotter than me, then that means I'm cooler than you. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.
Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. - Anonymous
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. - Anonymous
Sleeping is hard in the summer because the blankets are too warm, but without them I am vulnerable to monsters. Anonymous
Sayings Sleep Quotes Top 100
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'.
In grammar class the teacher asks her student: When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother is singing? I say 'shut up you're a terrible singer'. Anonymous
Top 100
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." - Anonymous
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me." Anonymous
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