Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Top 100
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. - Anonymous
My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I'm still at work. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!" Anonymous
Animals Top 100
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. - Anonymous
That awkward moment when you've said "What?" three times, so you just say "Oh, yeah.." even though you have no idea what they said. Anonymous
Moments
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous
If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. - Anonymous
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Anonymous
Animals Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Computers Marriage Quotes Never Quotes
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing. Anonymous
Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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