Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.
What are the two magic words that you can always use to make a shark happy? "Man Overboard!"
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
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