Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. - Anonymous
New year resolution: Complete the resolutions I set in 2019, that were actually from 2018, passed down from 2017, originally from 2016, actually set in 2015, that all began in 2014 but truly started in 2013. Anonymous
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
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Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching.
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments Top 100
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny. - Anonymous
Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. - Anonymous
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. Anonymous
Life Quotes
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. - Anonymous
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you're not home. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before. Anonymous
Life Quotes Statements Top 100
Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous
Me sarcastic? Never. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you're talking and not hear a single word you said. Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. - Anonymous
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day. Anonymous
Sayings

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