Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
Never Quotes People Quotes Phone
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. - Anonymous
I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
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Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! - Anonymous
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me.
When you're thinking that I'm thinking of you, I'm thinking you're thinking of me. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Think Quotes
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. - Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Whoever said great things come in small packages hasn't seen my big screen TV. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The last thing that blew my mind was the wind. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When you fall, I will be there to catch you.
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. - Anonymous
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. - Anonymous
What keys can't open locks? Monkeys, donkeys and turkeys. Anonymous
Animals Questions Short Quotes
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. - Anonymous
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own home. With this amazing privilege, what do most people look at? Their own house, their friends houses, and mostly places they have already been to! Anonymous
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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