When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Hate your job? Join our support group! It’s called EVERYBODY. We meet at the bar.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous