Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. - Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.
If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Top 100
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
They say we learn from our mistakes, that's why I'm making as many as possible. Soon I'll be a genius. Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. Anonymous
Life Quotes Money Quotes Short Quotes
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. - Anonymous
When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed. Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
Prescribed laughter
My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. - Anonymous
Got a new phone today, my old one failed the swimming test. Anonymous
Phone Sayings Short Quotes
A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.
A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. - Anonymous
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width. Anonymous
Sayings
I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right. - Anonymous
I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
Drinking Work Quotes

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