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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. - Anonymous

If every day is a gift, then today I got socks. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Friendship is like peeing on yourself.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous

Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100

Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. - Anonymous

Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end. Anonymous

Phone Short Quotes

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There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

$Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous$

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Math Quotes Sayings

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous

Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous

Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous

Short Quotes

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes

Near year 2013, resolutions you can keep.

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous

Eat Quotes Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. - Anonymous

Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Know Quotes

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous

Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. - Anonymous

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives. Anonymous

Animals Top 100

Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. - Anonymous

Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Life Quotes

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous

I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous

Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

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