Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. - Anonymous
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
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You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine. Anonymous
Moments Money Quotes
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. - Anonymous
I hate mosquitoes. I mean, I know I am delicious, but I don't give out free samples. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous
Animals Eat Quotes Good Quotes
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
I love you forever... but I can't live that long.
I love you forever... but I can't live that long. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

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