Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes TV Quotes
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. - Anonymous
I didn't mean to gain weight, it just happened by snackcident. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. - Anonymous
All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
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If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth!
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
Animals
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Anonymous
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. - Anonymous
You know what part I like about waking up early? None.. let me go back to sleep. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
Drinking Work Quotes
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments TV Quotes
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

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