Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
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