Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. - Anonymous
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day! Anonymous
Good Quotes Work Quotes
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Life Quotes
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Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. - Anonymous
Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. - Anonymous
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. - Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. - Anonymous
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Phone Short Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners.
Never run away when you see a bear, unless you know you can beat some of the other runners. Anonymous
Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue. - Anonymous
Never let anyone treat you like regular glue. You're glitter glue. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. - Anonymous
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes

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