I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
I believe there should be a better way to start each day... instead of waking up every morning.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
Got to work this morning and my boss told me 'have a good day', so I went home and had a great day!
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow.
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
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