Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain
I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. Anonymous
You're riding a horse full speed, and there's a giraffe on your left and a lion chasing you from behind, so what do you do? Get off the carousel! Anonymous
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.