All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Anonymous
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!' Henny Youngman
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth. CoolFunnyQuotes.com