A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I'm not overweight, I'm on the wrong planet.
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. Anonymous
The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place. Anonymous
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.