Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. Anonymous
Short Quotes TV Quotes Work Quotes
Do you ever feel like your body's "check engine" light is on but you're like "nah, I'll be fine"? Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. - Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place. Anonymous
Life Quotes
My phone is like my lover, it's the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning! Anonymous
Love Quotes Phone
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. - Anonymous
My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Think Quotes
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna?
Could you please be as silent as the G in lasagna? Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Eat Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Be kind to people, and if that's too much to ask for then just be weird to people. It's the least you can do. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes
I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic. Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.
Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100

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