Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements Top 100
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. - Anonymous
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes People Quotes
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Why can't the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself. Anonymous
Short Quotes
There's nothing better than good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate.
There's nothing better than a good friend, except for a good friend with chocolate. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Good Quotes
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. - Anonymous
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza. - Anonymous
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! - Anonymous
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year! Anonymous
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. - Anonymous
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Witty Quotes
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous
Moments Work Quotes
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt. Anonymous
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