Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. - Anonymous
Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house. Anonymous
Love Quotes
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
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Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That's why we call it the "present." Anonymous
Life Quotes
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. - Anonymous
My room is like the Bermuda triangle, stuff goes in and is never seen again. Anonymous
Analogies Never Quotes Short Quotes
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. - Anonymous
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Got up this morning and ran around the block five times. Then I got tired, so I put the block back in the toy box. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. - Anonymous
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. - Anonymous
Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours?
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Funny Tree Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Anonymous
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
Statements Top 100
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100

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