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Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.
Anonymous
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
Anonymous
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
Anonymous
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Anonymous
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
George Burns
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't get angry, doesn't exist.
Anonymous
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm not sure how long my body can handle this "getting out of bed early in the morning" nonsense.
Anonymous