I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it.
Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it.
A day without coffee is like something without something.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.
If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.
My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up their room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.
How do you feel when the coffee machine is out coffee? Depresso.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.
Don't drink to forget me, you'll end up seeing me double.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.
Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
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