Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Steven Alexander Wright
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?
What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.
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