Anonymous Quote

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

Anonymous

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Anonymous

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.

Anonymous

If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?

Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?

Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.

Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Anonymous

Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?

Anonymous

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

Anonymous

What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.

Anonymous

Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?

Anonymous

How do I like my eggs? In a cake.

Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

Anonymous

I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!

Anonymous

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...

Anonymous

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.

Anonymous

Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'?

Anonymous

What's best way to build upper arm strength? Take lots of selfies.

Anonymous