A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.
It snowed so much last night that this morning my backyard was full of penguins.
Be bold, be italic, but never regular.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
I hope we're good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.
You're never too old to do goofy stuff.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.
The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
I once had a job in a orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate.
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