Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous
Life Quotes
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
People Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions.
Taking a shower is awesome, it makes you feel nice and clean, makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life's decisions. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.. Anonymous
Never Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. - Anonymous
I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? Anonymous
Questions Sayings
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? - Anonymous
Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing? Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. - Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. - Anonymous
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. - Anonymous
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I'm on power saving mode. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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