A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
I'm stuck between "I need to save money" and "You only live once."
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.
I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way.
Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second!
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous.
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.
I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
Want someone to stop texting you? Send back 'SERVICE ERROR 305: DELIVERY FAILED, FURTHER MESSAGES WILL BE CHARGED AT A RATE OF $1 PER MESSAGE TO YOUR ACCOUNT."
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Mom: Why is everything on the floor? Me: Gravity, mom.
Me: "I need help around here!" Then me again "No, not like that, here I'll do it."
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you.
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street.
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