That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright