Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
Dear humans, in case you forgot, I used to be your Internet. Sincerely, The Library.
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
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