Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous
People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out... I mean, don't they have thoughts? Anonymous
A lot of people ask me if I were shipwrecked, and could only have one book, what would it be? I always say 'How to Build a Boat.' Steven Alexander Wright
Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. You were too lazy to read that number. Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.