I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won't let me.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. Anonymous
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
When I stare at the sky, I see you. When I stare out into the ocean, I see you. When I'm looking at the moon, I see you. Geez! Would you move aside, you're constantly getting in my way! Anonymous
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face! Anonymous
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite. Anonymous
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave. Anonymous
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.