I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Jack Handey
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
June Henderson
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying.
Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.
I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.
Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just looking for the mute button.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man."
It's alright if you don't agree with me... I can't force you to be right.
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
