I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
More Quotes by Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
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