I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
More Quotes by Anonymous
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Retirement is great, you get to be your own boss and tell yourself to do nothing all day.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Ultimate lazy moment: Watching the sunrise on TV because you're too lazy to get up and watch it for real.
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
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