Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
More Quotes by Jack Handey
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is.
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off?
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
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