Jack Handey Quote
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Anonymous
If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? Anonymous
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? Anonymous
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. Anonymous
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education. Albert Einstein
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. Dave Barry