It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.
I hate it when people see me at the supermarket and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.
The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with ONLY a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first.
Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts. Others walk into our lives and we want to leave footprints on their face!
Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter... people the opposite.
All of us light up a room, some when they enter, others when they leave.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
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