God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees
David Letterman
The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.
Remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
What did the dog say after walking in the desert for hours? If I don't find a tree soon I'm gonna pee on myself.
I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way!
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
Ronnie Shakes
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
John Peer
God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.
Why can't cats work on the computer? They get too distracted chasing the mouse around.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
The best way to show a giraffe your love is to knit a scarf for it.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
A horse is dangerous at both ends, and uncomfortable in the middle.
For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.
