I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
George Carlin
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Jack Handey
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
Jim Carey
