Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. - Anonymous
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

Know Quotes Questions Think Quotes
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. - Anonymous
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Wise Quotes
The best revenge is massive success.
The best revenge is massive success.

Frank Sinatra

Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. - Anonymous
I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten. Anonymous
Life Quotes Time Quotes
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. - Anonymous
My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome! Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. - Anonymous
Your secrets are safe with me... I wasn't even listening. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Witty Quotes
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. - Anonymous
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the M is silent. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
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