Top 100 Funny Quotes
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.
Anonymous
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I know the voices in my head aren't real..... but sometimes their ideas are just absolutely awesome!
Anonymous
That moment when there's a spider on you, and you suddenly turn into a black belt karate master.
Anonymous
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared!
Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station.
Anonymous
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Anonymous
Displayed 91-105 of 400 quotes.














