Top 100 Funny Quotes

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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright
Beer Quotes Drinking Questions
I wish my wallet came with free refills. - Anonymous
I wish my wallet came with free refills. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. - Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. - Anonymous
I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years. Anonymous
Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. - Anonymous
When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. - Anonymous
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah. Anonymous
Animals Never Quotes Short Quotes
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. - Anonymous
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. Albert Einstein
Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Drinking Eat Quotes Famous Quotes
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Computers
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