Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.
More Quotes by Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
Don't be stupid, it might make you famous.
A joke is a very serious thing.
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
We have to do the impossible, but it is possible.
Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
