Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a "No Bell" prize.
If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous
If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your small mind and share it with your big mouth! Anonymous
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. Lily Tomlin
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it. Sam Levenson
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. Dave Barry