I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
When you fall, I will be there to catch you - With love, the floor. Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous
Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%. Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
I've always wanted to turn around in an executive chair and say "I've been expecting you." Anonymous
Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls. Anonymous
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous