Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?
More Quotes by Anonymous
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Steven Alexander Wright
Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.
Me and my bed are perfect for each other, but my alarm clock keeps trying to break us up.
If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible?
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.
Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
Does anyone else have plastic bags full of plastic bags or is it just me?
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
Your idea is completely terrible... so what time shall we do it?
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
Isn't it funny that the number 2 pencil is the most popular?
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?
I wasn't mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if I'm mad.. yes, I'm mad!
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew...
What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.
Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.
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