Top 100 Funny Quotes

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It was me, I let the dogs out. - Anonymous
It was me, I let the dogs out. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous
If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
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Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous
Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. - Anonymous
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera. Anonymous
Sayings
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. - Anonymous
I'm glad I don't have to hunt my own food, I don't even know where sandwiches live. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. - Anonymous
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. - Anonymous
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them. Anonymous
Sayings Work Quotes
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.

Rita Rudner

Know Quotes Questions Think Quotes
The best revenge is massive success.
The best revenge is massive success.

Frank Sinatra

Short Quotes Wise Quotes
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. - Anonymous
That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people. Anonymous
Good Quotes Moments People Quotes
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