Top 100 Funny Quotes

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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
Drinking Eat Quotes Famous Quotes
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible before I forget everything. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

Robert Bloch

Man Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. - Anonymous
I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. - Anonymous
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it. Anonymous
Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Sayings
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous
I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day.
The best part of going to work is coming back home at the end of the day. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Smile while you still have teeth.
Smile while you still have teeth. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y".
I don't work on weekends, or any other day that ends with "Y". Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? Anonymous
Questions
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