Anonymous Quote

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Alexander Wright

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Alexander Wright

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.

John Peer

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Anonymous

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.

Anonymous

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.

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Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!

Anonymous

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

Anonymous

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

Anonymous

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!

Anonymous

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Anonymous

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.

Anonymous

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

Anonymous

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

Anonymous

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

Anonymous