Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.."
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.
When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'
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