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Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

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The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous

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My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. Anonymous

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous

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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Anonymous

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Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? - Anonymous

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'? Anonymous

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If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson

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You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous

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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous

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Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

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How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous

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Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red! CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Animals Questions

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous

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When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry

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You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright

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What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. Anonymous

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