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Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Anonymous

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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? - Anonymous

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Anonymous
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. - Dave Barry

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Dave Barry

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright
What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump. - Anonymous

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous
Funny drinking quote - 24 hours day beer

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. - Anonymous

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

Anonymous
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers. - Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Anonymous
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Anonymous
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Anonymous
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein
Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Anonymous
You can't have everything... where would you put it?

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Anonymous

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