Anonymous Quote

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

Anonymous

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Anonymous

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.

Dave Barry

You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths.

Steven Alexander Wright

What animal can jump higher than a house? Any animal that can jump at all, because houses can't jump.

Anonymous

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

Steven Alexander Wright

Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Being angry is not necessarily bad, some the best things were invented by angry people. Lamborghini didn't produce a single car until Enzo Ferrari made him angry.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

When is yelling during a robbery a bad idea? When you have gold teeth.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.

Anonymous

Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have thick fingers.

Anonymous

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Anonymous

When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car.

Anonymous

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Anonymous

You can't have everything... where would you put it?

Steven Alexander Wright

Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.

Anonymous

My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum.

Anonymous

Why do dentists use more anesthetic for longer procedures? So you won't be able to run away when it's time to pay the bill.

Anonymous