Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous
Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?' Anonymous
When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear. Dave Barry
You know when you put a stick in water and it looks bent? That's why I never take baths. Steven Alexander Wright