Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!' Anonymous
My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museum. Anonymous
Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster so now we have to sit here until the store closes. Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson