I'm going to open a new Facebook account named 'Anonymous' so all the cool quotes will be attributed to me!
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer.
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.
If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.
Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.
If my life was an action movie, my boss would be the spy trying to sabotage my mission, and my mission would be going on Facebook.
I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.
If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it.
I want to change my name on Facebook to "Nobody," so when I see someone posting something stupid I can Like their post and it will say "Nobody likes this."
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid."
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