Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.
More Quotes by Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor.
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly!
I'm not crazy, my unicorn just needs a tuneup.
I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there.
I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.
An apple a day keeps anyone anyway, if you throw it hard enough.
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.
Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy.
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
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