I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle.
Are you free tomorrow? No, tomorrow I'm still expensive.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
George W. Bush
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
Newspaper ad: Hiring clowns, must be serious.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
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