Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late. Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it. Anonymous
Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work. Anonymous
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.
I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. Anonymous
I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor. Anonymous
I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am.. Anonymous
I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you. Anonymous
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone. Anonymous
Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it. Anonymous
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Anonymous
"Tomorrow is another day..." Oh sorry, I thought the world is ending today. Anonymous