Anonymous Quote

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Anonymous

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Anonymous

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.

Anonymous

I feel sorry for people who don't have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.

Anonymous

I never apologize. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way I am..

Anonymous

My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.

Anonymous

I don't have the time or crayons to explain myself to you.

Anonymous

I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler?

Anonymous

Sorry I didn't pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.

Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

Anonymous

Want to hear a construction joke? Sorry, I'm still working on it.

Anonymous

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Anonymous

"Tomorrow is another day..." Oh sorry, I thought the world is ending today.

Anonymous

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Anonymous

I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Anonymous

It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Anonymous

I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now.

Anonymous

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

Anonymous

Sorry I can't come today. My sister's friend's mother's grandpa's brother's grandson's uncle's fish died, and it was tragic.

Anonymous

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

Sam Levenson