Anonymous Quote

Our toaster has two settings: too soon or too late.

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.

When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I'm enjoying every minute of it.

Sorry I'm late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I'm done with work.

To make time fly, throw your watch out the window.

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

I'm sorry that I'm not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse.